lovemankind (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
lovemankind) wrote2018-04-28 08:45 pm
lovemankind) wrote2018-04-28 08:45 pm
Entry tags:
We bought her flowers
We went to see Gummi today.
Discussion of family death/illness below the cut.
Mom woke me up around 7:30 this morning to ask if I wanted to visit her. At the time I assumed she meant "do you want to come with me", but on the drive home Mom told me that if I had said no or seemed hesitant she wouldn't have gone either. So I'm glad I went for that reason if nothing else. Mom and Gummi have always had a complicated relationship, but I know she would have regretted it for the rest of her life if she hadn't gone.
We arrived around noon and left a little before four o'clock. My uncle's wife, my cousin, and his girlfriend were all there for a lot of our visit, which was really nice. I know Mom really appreciated it. My uncle's wife warned us before we arrived that Gummi was on a ventilator and was making a lot of involuntary motions. We later found out that they're either diaphragmic spasms or random muscle twitches, not anything medically serious, but I'm happy she warned us anyway.
Seeing her was a shock at first - she had a lot of tubes sticking out of her ventilator and she had a neck brace, which the doctor later explained was to help hold her head up so she could breathe better. She had a cut or a bruise on her lip, which may have happened when she fell down. Her feet and hands were pale, but her face had some color. But aside from all of the medical equipment she could have just been sleeping. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel but eventually I felt comforted knowing that she was there.
We talked to a few of her doctors and nurses, all of whom were incredibly lovely and willing to answer our questions. I cried a lot and none of them made a big deal about it, which is a pretty normal thing for doctors but still made me feel a lot better. I hate when people fuss over my tears. Mom cried on and off. I think she was taken aback by her tears sometimes. The gist of the situation was/is pretty much unchanged: her heart was stopped for at least ten minutes before the EMTs arrived, she's been unconscious since then, and it's looking less and less likely that she'll ever wake up. One of the doctors said she was exhibiting coma-like behavior, referring to her brain waves I think. We talked about end-of-life care, and it seems like the family agrees that she shouldn't be forced to linger if there's no hope of recovery, but at the moment it's too soon to tell.
I have more to say but I'm exhausted. I have an afternoon shift at work tomorrow so maybe I'll write more then. You know, like a responsible employee.
Discussion of family death/illness below the cut.
Mom woke me up around 7:30 this morning to ask if I wanted to visit her. At the time I assumed she meant "do you want to come with me", but on the drive home Mom told me that if I had said no or seemed hesitant she wouldn't have gone either. So I'm glad I went for that reason if nothing else. Mom and Gummi have always had a complicated relationship, but I know she would have regretted it for the rest of her life if she hadn't gone.
We arrived around noon and left a little before four o'clock. My uncle's wife, my cousin, and his girlfriend were all there for a lot of our visit, which was really nice. I know Mom really appreciated it. My uncle's wife warned us before we arrived that Gummi was on a ventilator and was making a lot of involuntary motions. We later found out that they're either diaphragmic spasms or random muscle twitches, not anything medically serious, but I'm happy she warned us anyway.
Seeing her was a shock at first - she had a lot of tubes sticking out of her ventilator and she had a neck brace, which the doctor later explained was to help hold her head up so she could breathe better. She had a cut or a bruise on her lip, which may have happened when she fell down. Her feet and hands were pale, but her face had some color. But aside from all of the medical equipment she could have just been sleeping. I wasn't sure how I was going to feel but eventually I felt comforted knowing that she was there.
We talked to a few of her doctors and nurses, all of whom were incredibly lovely and willing to answer our questions. I cried a lot and none of them made a big deal about it, which is a pretty normal thing for doctors but still made me feel a lot better. I hate when people fuss over my tears. Mom cried on and off. I think she was taken aback by her tears sometimes. The gist of the situation was/is pretty much unchanged: her heart was stopped for at least ten minutes before the EMTs arrived, she's been unconscious since then, and it's looking less and less likely that she'll ever wake up. One of the doctors said she was exhibiting coma-like behavior, referring to her brain waves I think. We talked about end-of-life care, and it seems like the family agrees that she shouldn't be forced to linger if there's no hope of recovery, but at the moment it's too soon to tell.
I have more to say but I'm exhausted. I have an afternoon shift at work tomorrow so maybe I'll write more then. You know, like a responsible employee.